Not going to lie, I checked out #1linerWed contributions the most during my hiatus from life. And I was excited that I was finally excited to participate once again! Been waitin all day, and I realized it was now night time as I typed. And it’s Thursday. ..some things will never change. Like, how I try to be zen and calm and enjoy optimism when it happens. And other times (most times if I’m honest) I’d just shoot optimism. I have shitty aim, so who knows what would happen?
“I’m not gonna shoot you…but you’re gonna wish I did. “
Jay Kulina (Johnathan Tucker), “Kingdom”
Thank you Linda G Hill! If you wanna join in, click the link for more https://lindaghill.com/2021/02/24/one-liner-wednesday-art/
Optimism would rise from where it ducked on the floor, brush itself off, look you straight in the eyes and say, “Meg, that is just SO great that you shot at me. Think about how much you care to take this action. Your days of listless ennui are behind you. And now just think about all of the fun we are going to have together.”
Optimism sounds a lot like Owen Wilson to me, by the way.
Anyway, as you contemplate traveling indefinitely with Optimism, whose glasses glimmer pink in the smoky light, and whose Cheshire-cat smile never fades, you face a choice.
Put your pistol right up against Optimism’s head and empty your remaining rounds. No jury of your peers would convict you. Optimism’s poll numbers, while up a bit since January 20, have been quite low for years now.
Or say, “Fuck it,” and get back behind the wheel, Optimism sitting next you, fiddling with the radio dial to find the cool jazz station. Or maybe the retro-80s station. Just what is the geometric mean between George Benson’s “Give Me the Night” and Cyndi Lauper’s “Girls Just Want to Have Fun?”Or between “Songbird” by Kenny G and “Promised You a Miracle” by Simple Minds?
The thing is, in the latter scenario, you can let Optimism out at any rest stop and travel alone for awhile, circling back to get it later. Or, at least, slip it a Mickey and let it sleep it off in the back seat for a couple of hours. But if you kill it–well, you cannot really kill Optimism or its evil twin Pessimism, you can only put them out of commission for a brief period–the existential consequences could be dire.
In other words (and thank you as always for just bearing with me), maybe it is better to give yourself a choice every da–err, rest stop–whether or not to let Optimism ride along with you than to sever ties permanently.
Although, the radio would be yours to control if you did that. 😉
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Dammit this was beautiful!! I felt it all the way to my toes and I heard that gun go off and could feel how freeing it was to pull the trigger. Shut that asshole optimism up!!😆😆🧚
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Your kindness astonishes. Thank you.
Optimism has always been my travel partner, though not always for the best.
“Of course, you can balance three credit cards on a graduate student stipend. Why, political science professors are just rolling in dough!”
I could not (and I never became a political science professor)…but it all sort of worked out anyway.
Story of my life, in a way. However bleak it looks in the moment, it always just seems to work out.
This is where Nell would say, “You know, you just jinxed yourself.”
“Oh please,” I respond. “It does not work that way.”
Because to believe the opposite leads to some very dark existential places.
And none of those place take credit cards.
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Jesus you are almost exactly like me! I think the same…everytime.😆 And my credit card is maxed out, washed out checked right the fuck out. Yes, Political Science says “show me the money!” Right beside Environmental Tourism and everyone’s favourite: Fine Arts!😆
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You know, we have never been seen in the same place at the same time. But does that make me “Doppel” or “Ganger?”
Money-printing as those degrees are, none are as lucrative as Art History.
Biostatistics and epidemiology can be lucrative, but no sooner do I get those degrees than I declare myself a writer.
Because, you know, that makes sense. 🙂
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You’re a sensible man, Mr. Doppel. Oh yes the art history that anyone who has a lucrative job from that degree is a character in mystery novels.😂
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DR. Doppel, if you please, Ms. Ganger. 🙂
Adjunct instructors at the local college get lots of play in those stories. Of course, adjuncts get paid somewhere between bupkis and squat. Philo Vance, they ain’t.
Are you actually traveling with your feline, or is that some sort of deep metaphor?
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