Do you ever have a moment where you suddenly see your life actually whizzing by, while you sit static and sort of frozen, watching it all continually unfold, right there in front of you? I know this sentence doesn’t make sense, so basically I’m asking if anyone else has ever experienced sitting with the daisies in traffic like your very own ‘Adaptation’ movie? I should actually question my mental stability as of late, but where’s the fun in that?  Maybe it’s a sign from the big guy upstairs (not Santa, the other one). If it is a sign, then God must be playing with me.

season 3 what GIF by Animal Kingdom on TNT

I know it’s a weird question, but before I had this question swirling around in my head I had heard and oddly enough, enjoyed, a radio station…in my head. No joke. I listened intently to the female DJ talk about the day’s events in that creepy morning-person voice everyone has when they pretend they LIKE getting up at the crack of dawn. And the song in the background was a Phil Collins track (again, no joke); the song didn’t play in its entirety before a commercial came on. That was when I realized there is no fucking radio playing in my house. In fact, my Spotify wasn’t even playing. Or the TV. And I was home alone. Not like it would make a difference since we aren’t a radio-playing family. So, unless a pair of burglars or a serial killer were playing some easy listening radio station that I had never heard of, apparently I have officially lost my last fucking marble. Oh yes….I hear that sucker rolling across my kitchen floor now.

it's on seth meyers GIF by Late Night with Seth Meyers

Okay, where was I? Oh yes, I was in the process of alienating my readers with spooky shit that makes no sense, therefor throwing away any credibility I may have had in my blogging future…anyhoo, glad I finally got that out of the way! Whew. Moving right along, people!

I actually did have something to blog about when I got here. I swear on my mother’s grave. Well not really. We cremated her and her ashes flew back in to my dad’s face as we watched him ceremoniously scatter them. So….back to the task at hand….whatever task it was. Isn’t adult ADD great?

Next question: Do you think animals give us pet names too? Like, you think Mac the monkey names his different zookeepers? “I think I like this one. I’m not going to scream and throw food at her anymore and I will call her Rex.”